Archive for April, 2009

Warhammer Online (a recipe for disatser)

Posted in Warhammer Online on April 11, 2009 by Hellion

Hello you ass cakes! That’s right! It’s your old friend hellion fresh from poisoning the well. The topic of this week. How do you fail when you have a gift handed to you? Some people might say that this is a hard thing to do. Warhammer is after all a rich and full environment with a million different story lines and the potential to be the greatest game ever made. Now before you write this off as “another wftbbq Warhammer is crappy post” keep in mind I still play, and no I don’t play anything else. So lets get cooking !!

Add one part stupid with 2 parts omg!

It’s odd but every time I start playing Warhammer it feels like I’m still in beta. Poor graphic speeds with an ungodly huge computer = Fail. I mean really bad. I’m not running this on a com64 here. Tell me what I need so this game is playable! Should this not have been figured out before release? I feel like the fat kid at a birthday party. Everything but the cake is a slide show! Fail!

Mix together in a bag of hate!

Ask any Korean kid out there, If I can level to 40 in 2 days I need to do something while I’m 40. I’m not sure Mythic knew that the Korean super nerd existed. These little fruit bags are all about the uber level. They are not even sure they are playing a game. To them its all just Tetris. Stack and Stack it sky high till you starve to death. Even on a ( I have a life outside of video games) account. They still failed.

Pre Heat Oven to 350 degrees of suck

Don’t worry more content is coming be patient. Don’t worry such and such class will be fixed soon. Ohh really? Will mythic let me do a ” don’t worry check is in the mail” for my account? I don’t think so. Fail!

Add more and more crap till you can’t taste the stupid anymore.

Hey lets roll out 50 new classes while the ones that we have that need fixing can just continue to reek! Good plan. right? Wrong, double negative, fail. Fix my Archmage Assholes! I made a bumper sticker and put this on my car.

Bake Until Everyone is Done!

Look. You can agree with this next part or not. I don’t care at all. I firmly believe that no matter what you do class wise. If you don’t give both sides the EXACT SAME CLASS you will always have retarded amounts of Destro is over powered, or Order is over powered, even if they are not. It’s easy really. Keep it simple ass hat! Or something like that. Give everyone the same stuff or else! By the way. Whats with this one button mash crap. 1 button AOE healing, 1 button AOE damage, 1 Button Tanking, I feel like this game was made by fisher price. Let me play my class I’m old enough. I’m smart enough, I can handle it. I don’t want to just mash one button. I want to play not break my god damn fingers off on a single button!

Conclusion

As you all know I never walk away from a blog without a solution. For this problem I’m going to have to say. Take this game out of Mytics big dumb retard fingers. All they are doing is mangling it to pieces. Ever see that cartoon with bugs bunny and the abominable snowman. You know that big dummy that fingers up bugs and keeps calling him George. Well that snowman is Mythic and Bugs is Warhammer. Burn in hell!

Love Hellion